thursday

I have a love/ hate relationship with party planning. i love attention to detail. i really do. in a really dorky way. i am a scrap book, type of girl. but how much it is all coming to is crazy. i thought that having a party at a park would be cheaper. wrong! after the the 50$ permit. and a few decorations. it will come to at least a few hundred only in food. we want to barbecue. but the price of insane. that's even with people helping. plus i wanted a really big party. you know friends and family. a big blow out. i am just dreading any actual blow out that usual occur when my family gets together. everyone is already fighting. i just hope everyone shows up and gets along. that's the hard part with my brother going through a divorce i feel like i have to choose sides. i love them all. i am finding it to be quiet stressful. all i wanted was to have family around and have fun. i guess it all up to god. plus it been raining like crazy. please don't let it rain on the day of the party. i am so stressed that i have not even been able to focus on my work. which i thought once my son was better i could get some work done. but man, it is always something. i guess i just need to think positive. and i am trying. despite that it seams like i am only complaining. oh well have to check the guest list. bye for now.