summer so soon?

so i found out my sons school gets out next month. i am sad for him. he Finally settled into a routine. he has all these friends and now hes going to a different school. i am not sure how its going to effect my work. i will have to carve out some 'work time' so that i can write. plus once i join the writing group it will be better. i hope. overall things are good. i am about two hours away from finishing my manuscript. its just getting them that's hard. the weather is driving me nuts its hot and tomorrow its raining!!!?i am having dinner with family after a beautiful day of picnincing by the water. and i got to spend about an hour of just me time with my bff yesterday. i am trying to find a camp for my son. i just found out that there is no more summer school because of budgets. at least he has a field trip next month and i get to go. it will be fun. a museum and the beach. i am more excited then he is. i told him about school ending but he doesn't really grasp the understanding that he will feel different. he will no longer be at that school with those friends. and i have a secret fear to. i have alot of clout at his current school. his new school has a lot of competitive soccer moms. i feel i wont measure up. and after being the president and overseeing thing this last year , it will be hard for me too. i just need to show him to be strong. lead by example. i guess.

no so stressed anymore

so as you may have read on my last blog, that i was a freaking out about my boys party. omg! that was stressful. but you know what? it worked out just fine. we ended up having it at home. that was one hectic weekend. i ended up back at the party store. when we were having it at the park we didn't need decorations. i had bought balloons, a pinata and a bunch of games to play. well needless to say, when the storm hit, we were stuck not being able to use the games i bought. we had great day though. the food rocked. everyone came. just short an uncle and two others. my brother and his girlfriend got sick, so they didn't come. but i loved that my nephews were still there. they came with their mom. we never did use those games. we passed the time using the face paint( so fun!!) and we propt the pinata up and pretty much just let them at it. we loaded them with so much candy. i handed out Easter baskets. it was great. not a lot of gifts , but man he scored. he got the scooter he wanted. from his best friend. he got a psp! and the bike we got him. and some pretty nice clothes. so all in all, it turned out great. we got to see family we had not seen in a very long time. people meet. i cant believe after all that stress, and being pretty pissed about the storm, we actually pulled it off. although that day was the ONLY day it rained. but what ya gonna do right?! next year we are leaving town, and having a very quiet little 6Th birthday. that is the one thing about good parties, how do you top it next year?! well iam pretty excited about what i just learned. a local book store host a monthly writers group. i actually get to be around grown ups and write, and get feed back. i am so excited. the fee I am about 100$ but that's for a year. and you cant really put a price on all the connections i will make. plus i hear there is some editors and publishers in some of those groups. my boy has been on spring break. it has been a combo of stress and fun. i thought i was going to go nuts. but, i found a bunch of stuff to do. farmers markets. petting zoo, pony rides, play dates, story time, library. we have had fun. i am actually having fun too. he goes back tomorrow. i think he needs it more then me. he is getting a little short with me. i think he is the one going crazy with out school. go figure. he still has fits when i drop him off. but by the time i am leaving he is already playing. we are starting to get ready for kindergarten. which is hard on me. he is growing up. plus the school is a bit strict. he goes to school now at 12:30. he will be going all day staring at 8. i don't think that will go over well. i thought kindergartners got out early. i fell that's a long time for a five year old. 8 to 2:30. don't you think? and all the paper work i have to do. all the doctors he has to have check ups with its crazy. last week we went and he got like four shots for school. (FYI, that was not a fun day) okay. well i got to do some research while i have a computers.

stressed

i know i am supposed to have this blog to help others. so i apologize for my aproaching rampage=o). see the thing is , is that you can learn from others touble so maybe, in this case it might. or i could be sitting her venting to a virtual diary. here we go. we have had this party planned for months poeple are coming from out of town. they took off work for it. and now, its chaos. it' s beautiful outside. but according to the news a storm is coming in saturday night. guess which day is his party. it ha never rained on his birthday beforte. why now? why this. oh so important party. people , family will be meeting for the first time. it' special , its important. so even tough we had already bought the park permit, god willing it wont rain, but we have to have a back up. assuming we would do it at my house like last year. only it's going to be more people. so my mom and i have not been getting along too well. and she proclaimed last night that i could not hold it at the house. just out of spite. the only place that will do it on a days notice. is a place out of town. with depoist will amount to a heaping 700 dollars. price is 55 an hour, and thats crazy. so right now i am having a panic attack. all eyes are on me. i cant drop the ball. i feel exhusted but i want to shout. god, please dont let it rain.

wiped out

my gosh, i feel like i am going mad. i have so much to do before my sons fifth birthday party. it's quite exhusrting. i dropped him off at scholl at 12:30. and i havent taken a moment to breath. i have been to every party store with in the reach. even one beyond my city. the toy store. where i spent more for his bike then i thought i would. i have about ten minutes to post this. i swear, but iam happy i get this 10 minutes to post. i didnt think i would be able to do it for another week. and i now i must go to the grocerie store before i ger him. i do this errands alone for two reasons. 1- i dont want him to sneek anything that may be a surprise. 2- honestly i think my head would be spinning if i werent alone. i csn run in snd out, and there is no one there dragging thier feet. it may sound mean, but truly it is not. it just a well known fact that if you have to do errands with your kids it will take longer. i thought it would get better as he got older. no baby seats, binkys and strollers. but honestly, i think it gets worse. he still ants to be carried, and he screams and whines for everything he sees. he lost a tooth two days ago. i was so excited. you see he lost one bottom one in january, but the silly guy ate it, and we never did find it. i was so pettialy sad. but then the other one got lose. and for the past two weeks he would barley eat. claiming that the loose tooth was bothersome. he requested orajel t every meal. then i just poked it and it feel out. he saw the blood and went nuts. screaming that i had some how hurthim, bu ripping an 'unready to go' tooth. but then when he saw it he was happy and he wasnt truly in pain, the blood just scared him. i had the honor for the first time every to be the tooth fairy. i painted a fairy and stars on an enelope and placed two two dollar bills and a one inside. represnting his five years of age, that is approaching. my heart smiled in the morning when he found it. "SHE CAME , THE TOOTH FAIRY CAME!" he requested i open it( he didnt ant to hurt the envelope). he was so excited. he carried it around yesterday insisiting on paying for things. so cute! i really didnt want to see him spend it. but he was so proud. he felt very grown up. he went to school and shared it with everyone. it may seem silly, but it was one of the best things that i have shared with him. i felt honord to feel that warm mommy feeling. cant wait to feel it again on his birthday, and again on his party. i am sad and happy that he will be five. i tear up. but i know that he is still my baby.

thursday

I have a love/ hate relationship with party planning. i love attention to detail. i really do. in a really dorky way. i am a scrap book, type of girl. but how much it is all coming to is crazy. i thought that having a party at a park would be cheaper. wrong! after the the 50$ permit. and a few decorations. it will come to at least a few hundred only in food. we want to barbecue. but the price of insane. that's even with people helping. plus i wanted a really big party. you know friends and family. a big blow out. i am just dreading any actual blow out that usual occur when my family gets together. everyone is already fighting. i just hope everyone shows up and gets along. that's the hard part with my brother going through a divorce i feel like i have to choose sides. i love them all. i am finding it to be quiet stressful. all i wanted was to have family around and have fun. i guess it all up to god. plus it been raining like crazy. please don't let it rain on the day of the party. i am so stressed that i have not even been able to focus on my work. which i thought once my son was better i could get some work done. but man, it is always something. i guess i just need to think positive. and i am trying. despite that it seams like i am only complaining. oh well have to check the guest list. bye for now.